armaina: (taithal bleh)
[personal profile] armaina
There is a very frustrating thing that occurs when I say that I don't play or like PVP games and that's for someone to follow up with stating their particular game of choice 'isn't that bad' rather than just letting me be, it gets exhausting.

The only time I have ever played and enjoyed PVP is in closed circuit games where it's a lobby of just yourself and your friends and you're just goofing off with no real stakes or losses. Like old deathmatch arenas and fighting games with friends. There's no ranks, no stakes, and no progress to loose. Or the occassional 'party game'. And even then, I can only put maybe an hour or two into it and then I'm disinterested.

I am not 'great' at video games, I have to fail an awful lot to be any decent at it and even then I'm only mediocre. I'm fine with this. Failure on its own doesn't bother me. What bothers me is loss of progress and my teammates being upset with me because I fumbled. This only amplifies when PVP is involved. When it's free for all pvp, then it's frustrating because I'll just get no where because most people are better than me and I'll make no progress and have to sit through more and more matches just to meet bare minimum requirements to progress. Or if it's not match based but still solo PVP, the whole act of playing it feels on a razer wire because I could loose progress at any time and then what even is the point? And if it's team matches, then I have the anxiety of failing people in the team.

In parties of 4 it gets very easy to see who the weak link is, and because of the nature of PVP, people are very unkind to failure. People will claim that they're okay with it, but I hear it, I hear them trash talk their teammates when they're not up to snuff. Never giving space for people to learn or just be bad at something for a while until they get better at it. And they think that this doesn't effect the other people around them. I know what you all think of people that play poorly, and I play poorly, why do you all think that kind of talk would have no impact on me? So every time I loose in a team I think of how they would think of me, how they're angry at my failure, how they wish I weren't playing so they wouldn't be 'stuck' with someone so bad at the game. I am okay with failure, (unless I loose progress but that's it's own vector) but some people really, really are not. And in PVP, the need for success amplifies even more so than in co-op games because people's ranks are on the line. Take all that anxiety I already get with high stakes team play and then add the element that you're now also playing with other people, and that all gets amplified.

The only PVP I've been able to tollerate is ones with a strong PVE element which has only been possible in Gambit in Destiny 2, and World vs World in Guild Wars 2. Because in these I can largely focus on the PVE part and not the PVP part. Gambit's PVE is really important, so being good at that helps the overall match and I don't feel like a complete failure. Guild Wars 2's World vs World is a little less PVE intensive but the PVP part is handled by being in large swarms, so my personal failures don't stand out and I don't have people in chat yelling at me. More importantly, both games do not result in me loosing progress if I die. I can die dozens of times without penalty. That being said, if I could play those games without touching the game modes at all, I absolutely would. I only played those modes for certain progress requirements, not because I enjoyed them.

And then there's the matter that I just don't enjoy it. Sure I could triple up on anxiety meds and maybe not feel like my chest is caving in when I play a PVP game, but it's also just not enjoyable. Why waste my time on the potential that I might feel a high with certain big stakes when I could, instead, play a game I actually enjoy playing without the crushing weight of anxiety. So not only is it anxiety inducing, it's also just not my idea of fun.

So all that said, it gets really exhausting, when I say I don't play PVP and someone still tries to sell me on their PVP game. 'Oh it's not that bad', 'Oh I don't usually like pvp but'

I DON'T LIKE PVP!!
FULL STOP!!!
IT IS NOT FUN FOR ME!!!
STOP TRYING TO SELL ME ON YOUR PVP GAME!!!

Stop trying to apply your perception of mild aversion being the same as my intense level of discomfort and anxiety I have around the game type. What might be 'not that bad' for you, is still pretty dang bad for me and I'm tired of it being brushed aside like my discomfort and ability to enjoy it a all isn't even a factor worth incorporating.
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[personal profile] yourlibrarian posting in [community profile] marchmetamatterschallenge
March Meta Matters Challenge banner by thenewbuzzwuzz


Hello everyone! It's time for another writing prompt!

Do you think it's more likely that meta would be preserved and read if it were regularly included in other fanwork challenges? Would you take part if you had the chance?

Writing new meta this month is optional. If you do write something though, share a link to it in a future check-in post!
stardust_rifle: A cartoon-style image of of a fluffy brown cat sitting upright and reading a book, overlayed over a sparkly purple circle. (Default)
[personal profile] stardust_rifle
God, I have such a narrative kink for "You are trapped in a situation that is conclusively fucked beyond your control to do anything reasonable about it. There is no decision you could possibly make that could make things better. What do you do now?"
[syndicated profile] askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

Here are three updates from past letter-writers.

1. What to do about serious problems you never see firsthand (#2 at the link)

Great advice and so many great responses – thank you! it is indeed nonprofit early childhood education, with infant, toddler and preschool classrooms. I got two big things from this conversation – I am indeed not crazy, this is a solvable problem. And I got some strong language for how to name what is going on and try to shift things next time.

Here is what I ended up doing this time: With this director there had been a previous situation where I had looped in the supervisor, and the director was upset, why hadn’t I talked to her, she thought we had a good relationship, gone behind her back, etc. and it didn’t help much and I had to do relationship repair to get back to a good coaching relationship. This time, I sent her this: “I wanted to share some thoughts and see what you think. I’m sending this just to you so we can think this through, and see what the next steps might be. There are two things that most concern me . . .” With a “we’ll figure it out together” tone, I objectively detailed my concerns, especially how serious it was that there was the fear of retaliation from the other staff, and acknowledged how hard it must be to follow through when you don’t see it, and how can we brainstorm to get the data she needs to act?

I didn’t get a response to the email, but the next time I was there the problematic staff was gone. Apparently the director met with her and she walked out. So win for this classroom, but we still have some big challenges in our agency.

Out of the answer and comments, I also got a realization and some questions – coaching, at least how my agency does it, is a strange space. I have responsibility but no way to enforce accountability. I have goals as a coach, but if directors won’t back me up and hold people accountable, nothing changes. And if their supervisors won’t either, it’s even more impossible. And I really don’t understand why as a culture my agency is not willing to deal with ineffective or inappropriate directors and teachers. Part of it is chronic struggles with staffing. (To answer one question, no, we never go out of ratio. We will pull a director or admin into a room rather than do that. You don’t even step out for a bathroom break without someone stepping in.) I’m curious what coaching and quality improvement looks like in fields other than education.

Early childhood care and education in the U.S. is struggling so much. Families can’t afford care, we can’t pay teachers enough, and public funding is being cut like crazy. Many states had quality improvement initiatives begin in the 1990’s and 2000’s to address it with increased qualifications for teachers and state money to support it, but with the states I’m involved in, the updated quality improvement standards have decreased, probably because of the very desperate lack of more highly qualified teachers. We are going back to unregulated underground child care for many families.

2. Am I ruining my life by moving for my spouse’s job? (#5 at the link)

I wanted to share an update a couple of years after writing my original letter about whether to move for my spouse’s career. I ultimately agreed to move because of how difficult it is to find a job in my spouse’s field and the quality of life benefits of the new city. Thankfully, a couple months after arriving I found a local job in a different industry with decent pay, flexibility, and benefits.

The hardest part has been the hit to my ego and sense of identity. I was very good at my previous job and, in many ways, it was my imperfect dream role. But it was a public-sector position in an organization that has become much less stable under this presidential administration, and my broader field has taken a decimating hit. My current job is unrelated, and sometimes I miss being seen as an expert rather than just another small part of a large system. I’ve been working on separating my sense of self-worth from my job, but that transition has certainly been hard. One upside of watching the upheaval in the field I once loved from afar is that it’s made it easier not to dwell on what my career might have looked like if I’d stayed.

As the professional landscape has changed, my parents have stopped telling me I made a terrible career decision and instead now criticize the move itself. That’s been tough, but with time, grief, and therapy I’ve started to make peace with the personal side of it and stop letting it drive my anxiety about my career.

Life looks different than I expected a few years ago, but many of the things within my control are going well. My spouse and child are thriving. I miss our old city, but I’m also enjoying the new one and the opportunities it brings.

3. Can I advise my boss not to hire a contractor? (#4 at the link)

I took my concerns about Jane (the contractor who couldn’t do her job but was well liked) to my boss and he said he appreciated my honesty. He also felt that the things Jane was struggling with could be taught but that she’d built strong relationships at the company and that kind of thing couldn’t be taught. Jane was hired.

It became clear to me that Jane’s “good relationships” were the result of her sharing privileged information, over-promising, and gossiping. Jane also began to backstab and exclude all the other women on the team. Before her trial period was over, I took my new concerns about her behavior to my boss, who promised to speak with her and asked me to give her another chance.

Some time later, we received an email from HR (not our boss) that Jane had been fired. My boss now insists I am part of all hiring committees.

I’d like to leave this update here, but honestly the team has not recovered from Jane’s toxic behavior. The factions she created to pit against each other have not dissipated and there is anger and confusion around her firing. There’s also lingering suspicion that maybe Anna is actually a slacker, Betty is actually a bully, and Connie is actually unreliable and Jane was the only hard working, honest, and dependable woman on the team.

HR isn’t about to tell us why she was fired so we’ll never really know what happened. When it comes up, all I can do is counter rumor with my personal experience (i.e., “I’ve never had a problem with the quality of Anna’s work” — a strategy I know because of your great advice on other letters, Alison!). I don’t expect the team to recover until each and every one of us has moved on to a new job.

Wishing everyone a drama-free workplace!

The post updates: trailing spouse, problems you don’t see firsthand, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

[syndicated profile] atlas_obscura_places_feed

The Hugglescote Deathstar roundabout

When building a new estate in the village of Hugglescote in Leicestershire, the constructors gave a nod to “Star Wars” by creating a roundabout which when viewed from above was a representation of the Death Star.

The reason being that Hugglestone was once home to Palitoy, who used to manufacture “Star Wars” figurines (as well as Action Man and Pippa Dolls).

bluapapilio: headphones connected to a heart (listening pleasure)
[personal profile] bluapapilio

Summary:  In the valley of Fruitless mountain, a young girl named Minli lives in a ramshackle hut with her parents. In the evenings, her father regales her with old folktales of the Jade Dragon and the Old Man on the Moon, who knows the answers to all of life's questions. Inspired by these stories, Minli sets off on an extraordinary journey to find the Old Man on the Moon to ask him how she can change her family's fortune. She encounters an assorted cast of characters and magical creatures along the way, including a dragon who accompanies her on her quest for the ultimate answer.

My thoughts: Somehow this did not feel like just 4 hours, it takes you on a whole journey and they really didn't go that far I think. It follows Minli but you also get lots of other stories along the way told by others that are interconnected and I liked every single one. I was so impressed by this work and am excited to read more of this author's stuff. And to reread this someday!

The narration by Janet Song was fantastic too.

Story: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | Characters: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | Rereadable: 🇾
 
My rating: 5/5

Birdfeeding

Mar. 19th, 2026 11:44 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Today is mostly sunny and mild. :D

The stump grinder guy has come and gone. He did an excellent job. The stump in front of the garden shed is gone and the hole mostly filled, though I'll add some top soil to smooth it out more. The east path is nearly smooth, might need a bit of raking. I'm particularly impressed that a ring of daffodils around the plump stump is still there! I had expected to lose those, so the precision is noteworthy. The parking lot is also nearly smooth. He got right up to the edge of the sidewalk and rock wall, although he advised there are some buried rocks and concrete that we didn't know about. I may need to rake some areas, and certainly need to see about removing the last stubs from the sidewalk to recreate that defensive zone. My partner Doug plans to drive over the parking lot to press it down some before ordering a load of fresh gravel to top it. Progress!

I fed the birds. I've seen a mixed flock of sparrows and house finches. Cardinals are singing.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 3/19/26 -- I put about half a bag of topsoil into the hole in front of the garden shed to smooth it out. That may need more later after it settles, but it'll do for now.

EDIT 3/19/26 -- I filled a flat of 12 pots with potting soil and in each pot I planted 5 seeds of short landrace marigolds. These are similar to Shithouse Marigolds but shorter. If I can get them growing well, I can save money buying nursery marigolds. I covered them with a plastic tub to serve as a greenhouse. I still need to label them though.

EDIT 3/19/26 -- I labeled the marigolds.

I checked the east path. It doesn't really need anything but grass seed. We'll need to buy a big bag of that. Recommended time for spring sowing is late March to mid-April.

I checked the parking lot. I picked up a few pieces of junk that were churned up, but it's also pretty good. I do need to work on clearing more of the sidewalk, but a lot of that will just be brushing dirt off it.

EDIT 3/19/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

EDIT 3/19/26 -- I started working on the sidewalk again. Much of what covers it is just loose dirt that needs to be scraped off. Some is still packed dirt and roots.

EDIT 3/19/26 -- I watered the seeds under tubs.

It's 71°F now. Over the next few days, it's supposed to reach 80°F. 0_o







.

Orchard Bees

Mar. 19th, 2026 04:02 pm
bookscorpion: This is Chelifer cancroides, a book scorpion. Not a real scorpion, but an arachnid called a pseudoscorpion for obvious reasons. (Default)
[personal profile] bookscorpion posting in [community profile] common_nature
This morning I went to check out the big insect hotel near the canal and I was just in time to catch a whole bunch of male European orchard bees who I am fairly sure had just hatched (the females will hatch a little later in the year).



Read more... )



midnight_heavenly_bodies: (jon001)
[personal profile] midnight_heavenly_bodies posting in [community profile] addme_fandom
Name: C.K. or Chester
Age group: mid-to-late 30s -- 36 specifically.
Country: USA
Subscription/Access Policy: 18+ only. No Harry Potter fans. No antis. No Chappell Roan stans (I see how y'all are treating my man and I don't like it.)  For a more in-depth 'about me', follow this link.

Main Fandoms: Culture Club (the greatest band of the '80s! I write fic for them and sometimes cross-post deep dives from my website on them.)
Other Fandoms: Linkin Park, WWE, Smoky Mountain Wrestling
Fannish Interests: Fanfiction mostly, and doing deep dives on my many OCs.
OTPs and Ships: Culture Club: Boy George/Jon Moss, Roy Hay/Mikey Craig; Linkin Park: Bennoda [Chester Bennington/Mike Shinoda]; Wrestling: Hartbreak (Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels), Shawnter (Shawn Michaels/Hunter Hearst-Helmsley), Candy (Cody Rhodes/Randy Orton); and then I have a lot of ships in my fandoms involving OCs. 

Favourite Movies: The Room (lol), Pretty in Pink, Borat, Major League, man there's so many and I can't think of all of them.
TV Shows: I actually don't watch TV.
Books: Broken Harts: The Life and Death of Owen Hart by Martha Hart
Music: I listen to a lot of '80s. My faves are Culture Club (and yes, that means I like Boy George's solo work too), a-ha, Depeche Mode, Yazoo, Information Society, New Order, The Cure, A Flock of Seagulls, Real Life, Johnny Hates Jazz, Mr. Mister, Oingo Boingo. Then outside of '80s music I like Massive Ego, $uicideboy$, Linkin Park, and Fort Minor.
Games: Sonic the Hedgehog (1, 2, 3), Sonic & Knuckles, Sonic 3D Blast, Pokemon, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, GTA series, Hitman series, WWE series, Tomb Raider (original games series), Crash Bandicoot 1 & 2, Legacy of Kain series
Comics/Anime/Misc: Not really into much comics or anime, but my fave anime is Death Note.

Wednesday What I'm...

Mar. 19th, 2026 12:00 pm
reeby10: the lower half of a person laying on grass and reading with the words 'time to escape' and a ripped looking border (reading)
[personal profile] reeby10
Reading
  • Read some more of Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It largely seems to be just a collection of little stories, which are interesting, but it does feel like slow going.
  • Read some more of Demon Fish by Juliet Eilperin. The stuff about shark calling was very interesting, especially because I was surprised to have not heard of it before!
  • Ficwise, I'm all over the place. Read quite a bit for Private Property and Never Let Me Go, with some PondPhuwin RPF in the mix. Currently rereading a JunDylan fic again because I needed some comfort food lol
Watching
  • The roommate and I finished MuTeLuv. I enjoyed the Dew in Japan story, though once again, the het romance did not work for me. But the SurfJava story was just as good as everyone had been saying! Possibly my favorite one in the bunch. It was nice to see Surf getting to do more than he did in Head 2 Head, as well as Java playing a much less pathetic character. (I just had to ignore that this was supposed to be the OhmLeng story...)
  • The roommate and I started watching Century of Love. The production value is a bit iffy, but Daou and Offroad are delightful so far. Very interested to see where it's going.
  • The roommate and I watched more of Running Man Thailand. Well, attempted. Idk what's going on, but the app we stream it through keeps freezing up a few minutes in and won't load anymore. It's just for this show, none of the others we watch there, but it's happened on episodes 2, 3, and 4! We're waiting for episode 3 to make it to youtube so we can actually finish it.
  • The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Cat for Cash. Very sweet episode! And Winny did show up just like I'd seen spoilers for, which was kind of sad considering he and Satang recently broke up. So this is their last role together. We'll see if he shows up in any other episodes.
  • The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Duang With You. It's getting steamy! I was surprised that kind of scene was happening already, which makes me wonder, especially with the preview for next week, if things are going to start falling apart for them.
  • The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Only Friends: Dream On. Some machinations happening that seem to be heading in interesting ways, both positively and negatively. Looking forward to more of the fallout. Especially with Rome seeming so disappointed with Raffy's choices, which didn't even work out for him.
  • The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Yesterday. I am refusing to believe Lalit is dead lol But ooh, Kelvin! I hope he goes insane over thinking Vier's dead. The preview for next week is very puzzling in that regard though...
  • The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of My Romance Scammer. And it all comes tumbling down! Poor Tim and poor Pai, they really went through it. Excited to see how they manage to rebuild things!
Listening
  • Still making my way through the LYKN tour videos.
Writing
  • Started on my fic for [community profile] songkranexchange . Not sure if I love the concept, so we'll see if I finish it or try something else.
  • Wrote more on the omegaverse ArmTae fic. I think maybe I'm about halfway through? Maybe? They're taking their sweet time...
Learning
  • I took my laptop to the cafe to write on Saturday, but it ended up not being charged and they don't have outlets, so I worked on Japanese since the roommate had her workbook with her! I practiced hiragana, which was honestly a lot more longhand writing than I've done in a long time lol
[syndicated profile] askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I had an awkward moment the other day with a client and it made me think that others have probably made similar mistakes, and it could be fun to hear from everyone.

I’m a lawyer and working with a client preparing to testify about their innocence after being in jail for decades. I was in the prison working with him earlier this week, and he was doing really great work, and as feedback I kept telling him he was “killing it!” As in, “You’re killing it!” And, “Great job killing it!” Alison, he’s unfairly in jail for murder and has been his whole adult life. I know that, and yet for the life of me Could. Not. Stop. Saying. It.

In my subsequent reflection and shame, I realized others must have similar stories of just saying the absolute wrong thing to the wrong person at work. If you’re ever thinking of a call for stories, I bet these would be good!

By all means, let’s have at it in the comment section!

The post let’s talk about times when you said the exact wrong thing at work appeared first on Ask a Manager.

smallhobbit: (pansy)
[personal profile] smallhobbit posting in [community profile] fan_flashworks
Title: Umbrella Plant
Fandom: Original
Rating: G
Length: 5 photos and some text
Summary: Like its owners, our umbrella plant is unconventional

Umbrella Plant )
stonepicnicking_okapi: otherwords (otherwords)
[personal profile] stonepicnicking_okapi
The Weary Blues by Langston Hughes

Droning a drowsy syncopated tune,
Rocking back and forth to a mellow croon,
I heard a Negro play.
Down on Lenox Avenue the other night
By the pale dull pallor of an old gas light
He did a lazy sway. . . .
He did a lazy sway. . . .
To the tune o’ those Weary Blues.
With his ebony hands on each ivory key
He made that poor piano moan with melody.
O Blues!

Read more... )

Beloved, Or If You Are Murdered Tomorrow by Elizabeth Acevedo

marocain

Mar. 19th, 2026 07:26 am
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[personal profile] prettygoodword
marocain (MAR-uh-kayn, mar-uh-KAYN) - n., a heavy cross-ribbed crepe fabric, usually made of silk, wool, or both.


Known in full as crepe marocain. From French (crêpe) marocain, Moroccan (crepe), from Maroc, Morocco, from Medieval Latin Marrochium, Marrakech/Marrakesh.

---L.
[syndicated profile] atlas_obscura_places_feed

In Germany's post-industrial Ruhr Valley, coal mining was once one of the defining economic activities. Although those days are long gone, the area's past is still well-remembered through the attractions of the Industrial Heritage Trail. That includes the German Mining Museum, the largest such museum in the world.

The first thing that visitors will notice is the giant mining headframe relocated from the Germania coal mine in Dortmund. Today, it serves as an observation deck for the surrounding area. The museum itself has exhibits on the history and unique features of mining, especially in Germany but also in different parts of the world. Highlights include a seven-ton tree fossil found within a coal seam and a 3.401-carat black diamond.

For those who find mere museums boring, a more immersive experience is available at the recreated show mine underneath the building. At 2.5 km long, it was never actually used for mining, but still provides an accurate depiction of what an subterranean coal mine was like. Inside the mine is a model of Tobias, the last "pit pony" used to transport coal inside German mines.

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[personal profile] probablynotbees posting in [community profile] newcomers
EDIT: Thank you all for the guidance! I think I've got a pretty good understanding now.

Hello all!

I'm very new to Dreamwidth (showed up with the latest wave of Tumblr ex-pats) but thinking about using it to post some of my media-criticism thoughts that I've been collecting in a private journal for the last year or so.

However, I want to make sure I can tag these appropriately, so I have some questions.

1. What's the etiquette for posting tagging discussion of a piece of media that paints it in a negative light?

On Tumblr, it's often considered rude to bash something in its main tag, so if I wanted to make a post criticizing the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I'd tag it something like #mcu hate so that it doesn't show up in the main #mcu tag where people are trying to enjoy their thing.

(I'm primarily asking because I have some quite critical pieces about Harry Potter.)

2. Does Dreamwidth allow users to block tags? Is this something I should anticipate when tagging entries?

On Tumblr I'd tag something like #eating disorder / to hide it from people who are avoiding that topic, including the slash so that the tag isn't searchable (on my own blog or in general). Is that a thing here?

I think that's all I've got for now, but I'll probably think of more later.

What We Are Seeking by Cameron Reed

Mar. 19th, 2026 09:05 am
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[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


John Maraintha wanted to rebuild his life. Instead, he was marooned on a backwater world in the middle of a first contact crisis.

What We Are Seeking by Cameron Reed

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